i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize