Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize