Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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