Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
