he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize