I wish I could teleport
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
