Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
