Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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