So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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