I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
false alarm, still single
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