Have you finally orgasmed yet?
we made out on top of his cat.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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