So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
