There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
