my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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