I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
