If i come over, it means nothing
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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