I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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