i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
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