My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize