now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
