I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
