I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
