After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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