Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
