Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
