ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
