Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
