we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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