Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
