You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I will pee on everything he values.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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