Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize