I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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