its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
