after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
