Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
