ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
