I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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