have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I don't deserve a penis
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
