I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
