I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
