I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
