Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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