I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Barsexuality is the new black.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
We are two peas in an std pod
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
