No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
