We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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