She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
