I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
