I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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