About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
