Will you blow on my dice?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
