im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
