The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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