Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We talked him into tasing himself.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
