I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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