I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
