yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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