FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm bleeding and have questions
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize