How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
