You're so nebulous sometimes
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
