update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I need to align my fucking chakras
I am mentally ready for anal.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize